this is a difficult situation. one some people might refer to as a 'grey area'. On one hand yes he did rape you. on the other, was he aware that is what was happening? did he hear you use your safe word? Rape fantasies are a big turn on for some, but they always have that potential for danger. In the heat of the moment if one of you forgets the safe word then it becomes more complicated. If one of you has different ideas about what is going to happen then again its not so clear.
is there anyway you could contact him via email or some non face-to-face way to explain how you feel and what in your mind happened so he can tell you what he thought was happening that might shed more light on it. I'm not in anyway condoning rape or saying that you don't have every right to feel violated. but sometimes it can help to get the other person's side of it. If you do send any letters, keep copies incase you do go to the police. mand x
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