Its my opinion that a lot of the "experts" don't really know what they are doing. Maybe the protocols, advice etc you've been following don't work for you. It sounds like people seeing you throw things against the wall to see what sticks (if anything) and that's typical. "Mental illness" is often created by emotional damage that pulls the mind down into its own machinery. Finding yourself again takes a special kind of contact with inner realities. A lot of "treatment" involves either burying those realities or dredging them up the wrong way. People have to get fixed from the inside out and not vice versa. You're not hopeless. Maybe the ways you've been going are.
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