I'm feeling a bit low at the moment. I'm finding I'm having moments of extreme happiness then moments of crippling lowness. And the 'psychosis' is quite bad with voices and visual hallucinations. I don't see my psychologist until September and that's for a discharge meeting.
If i'm not picked up by the mood/psychosis team I'm on my own and I'll only be picked up if E can convince them I don't have a PD. Once you have a PD diagnosis it's really hard to get rid off. Even though I never really had one in the first place. But I no longer meet criteria and definitely don't have one now.
I don't know what to do. How do I cope between now and my review? I have no support. If things got really bad I could call HTT and see them but I'd rather not waste their time when they have people with real issues to see.
I'm worrying my boyfriend at the moment with my mood and dissociation but I'm so good at putting on a front in person that it's hard to communicate with him in any other way than via text. Which is a bit pathetic. But when I'm with people I smile and pretend everything is fine. I don't know how to break that down.
Right now I'm very dissociated and it's taking a lot of effort to write this. I'm typing coherently though so I'm not too concerned at the moment. I'm trying to identify warning signs that my dissociation is really bad so that I can tell my boyfriend or friends what to look out for in terms of when things are 'do something' bad. Anyone who knows me know what any of these signs are?
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