Thanks for the hugs you two. Hugs not drugs, rriigghhtt?.hah. i see a lot of "struggling " posts here. Id just like to say look up the actual definition, and if you want help quit fighting hence struggling. Im doing alright, i guess. I think about drugs, a lot. Its cause i want to get high. Now that its hot, methamphetamine sounds pretty killer. You know i am a drug addict, im sober though. I can tell whats going to set me off or not. I see people who do, do it still. I get taken back how little someone can do and be happy. Freaking if i even slept i had to do some kind of drug almost all day. I didn't really even want to do meth. I tried staying away from it, i recall the first day i did it. My boss said how happy i looked and how good i looked, asked what i ate at lunch. Then came the money. I pretty much had a job as a hobby when i was off i was doing god knows what. Then if someone other than my partner wanted to chill.. Its like i needed xanax to muster up having sex with others just so i could talk to someone for ten minutes after before they had to go home to their families. I am a bit ashamed, but i did it. Nobody knew, or knows. I guess for the greater good. All the girls at the local stores when i would get my bologna or eggs and a coke no ice.
And now to have some people in my life who are positive, i can't help but push them away. I was left behind and threw it away. Nobody left me a memo. I see my son laying next to me. Hes one. I hope he don't do half the things i did
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