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mat · 01-08-2016, 05:02 PM

Sware there was a sub forum here for it. Times change i guess. Well im a year and a few weeks sober from.. Methamphetamine, heroin, any sort of pills, cocaine, ecstasy, well anything fun. Im clean. I notice i dont really like people. Im getting things back, family, belongings etc. I miss the transient lifestyle i had. Nobody gave a fuck, and i didn't give a fuck. Fuck some girl for the brief company i wanted to just talk while she just wanted me. Not worry about food or anything cause i was high. Just worry about showing up to work, making sure my cars tires had air. Car was up on the oil, so i could go do whatever drug run in whatever state i needed to go pick something up in. Not have anyone to answer to. I could probably pick another fifteen reasons why i miss it. Being sober, seeing what my family members are going through thats surviving. Things people say ive done that i frankly don't recall. I kinda think their full of shit but i don't know. It all makes me feel like a scumbag. At the same time, i did what i had to do. I know some people want to kill me, i am grateful they never met my family to be able too harm them. Nice house nice car i acquired faster than fuck at the expense of weak people. I don't feel bad about using peoples addiction to fuel my lifein getting ahead and getting high for nil. I kind of feel sick getting stuff back, i threw it all away multiple times. To be getting it back, having this desire again to go out. Makes me apprehensive. Am i going to throw it away? Again. It took a prison sentence of ten years lingering over my head to get where i am at now. In six months, that prison term lingering over my head will disappear. Heck, when i knew i was getting investigated i committed a crime against the police force directly. Man i can get crazy. Anyways, sorry for a ramble. I don't talk much, i don't expect advice. No worries, time will tell.

01-08-2016, 05:02 PM	#1
mat it never ends. Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Sal.... utah.	Drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs Sware there was a sub forum here for it. Times change i guess. Well im a year and a few weeks sober from.. Methamphetamine, heroin, any sort of pills, cocaine, ecstasy, well anything fun. Im clean. I notice i dont really like people. Im getting things back, family, belongings etc. I miss the transient lifestyle i had. Nobody gave a fuck, and i didn't give a fuck. Fuck some girl for the brief company i wanted to just talk while she just wanted me. Not worry about food or anything cause i was high. Just worry about showing up to work, making sure my cars tires had air. Car was up on the oil, so i could go do whatever drug run in whatever state i needed to go pick something up in. Not have anyone to answer to. I could probably pick another fifteen reasons why i miss it. Being sober, seeing what my family members are going through thats surviving. Things people say ive done that i frankly don't recall. I kinda think their full of shit but i don't know. It all makes me feel like a scumbag. At the same time, i did what i had to do. I know some people want to kill me, i am grateful they never met my family to be able too harm them. Nice house nice car i acquired faster than fuck at the expense of weak people. I don't feel bad about using peoples addiction to fuel my lifein getting ahead and getting high for nil. I kind of feel sick getting stuff back, i threw it all away multiple times. To be getting it back, having this desire again to go out. Makes me apprehensive. Am i going to throw it away? Again. It took a prison sentence of ten years lingering over my head to get where i am at now. In six months, that prison term lingering over my head will disappear. Heck, when i knew i was getting investigated i committed a crime against the police force directly. Man i can get crazy. Anyways, sorry for a ramble. I don't talk much, i don't expect advice. No worries, time will tell.