Well Plath faded into being dead. An indifferent middle age would have been ok.
I think you're more of a metaphysically inclined person than you realise. You want the sublime and transcendent - the awareness of existing in the moment without being suppressed by routines and the mundane.
I think the sticky wicket is that you measure transcendent values by external circumstances. Basic contentment (vs hyper "happiness") is found within, and is independent of external circumstances to a degree. The sky doesn't open up at certain ages, employment/income levels etc. Good times and bad - each flee in due course - one swapping out with the other (and each "imposters" as Kipling would say). It was Plath's curse to need validation outside herself. She was also a lopsided intellectual prone to psychosis and ended-up having an illness named after her (the Plath Effect)
|