[rmn2016]

Where do I start? I've been diagnosed with borderline personality and psychosis. My psychosis has been managed since getting a depot injection of depixol but ever since I've been on the injection I have been sleeping all day for the last 3 years. I think I am depressed because eversince the injection I have lost interest in most things including gym, running and weight lifting. I lead a very meaningless life, waking up at around 5 or 6 pm in the evening and drinking beer til the early morning hours and not eating much.
Since my care coordinator has been a bit off with me as of three weeks ago when I asked for her number, she has taken me off her caseload and I think I have spiralled down into a depression where I am taking less care of myself. I have felt so depressed that I didn't want to eat. I think I might have an obsessive love for my last care coordinator. She was always on my mind from when I got up til when it was time to go to sleep. I have trouble controlling my emotions and have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. I think I have social anxiety. Life doesn't seem worth living at times and I have had suicidal thoughts on Tuesday. I am not suicidal anymore or right now. I don't know what to do because my emotions get the better of me and it's stopping me from going to social groups. I feel very sad too that my care coordinator took me off her caseload after I asked for her number. All I have to look forward to is beer at night and getting drunk.