I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad hun.
I can relate completely to what you're saying. The main thing I remember from CBT 5 years ago is challenging your thoughts. I found writing them down helped, challenge them, are these bad conclusions really going to happen?
It sounds like you may need a medication review. I'm currently on propranolol which seems to take the edge off a bit. The change in your olanzapine may have heightened your anxiety. I'm not sure if that's maybe a side effect.
I was told by my CPN that we weren't going to be doing mindfulness exercises until I was emotionally stable enough to concentrate. Maybe all the other thoughts going round your head are making it difficult.
That's great news you have an appointment on Monday. Perhaps you should request a medication review. It's clear that what you are currently prescribed isn't doing much good. They will hopefully give you some strategies to manage the anxiety and thoughts you're having.
Sending love and hugs to you in this difficult time Mark.
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