Originally Posted by
Serendipity.
It sounds like you're trying really hard to work with them, and I think that's great. I know it isn't always easy but it will give you the best chance of getting through this as quickly as possible and being able to move forwards. And you can, it gets better! You didn't mess up, it's not your fault. Struggling with your mental health doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. I understand it can be a really isolating experience though. But you're not alone. Lots of people here will be able to relate to what you're going through at the moment.
As tiptoes said, it's just called HTT where I am, and I was with them for a bit last year. I didn't appreciate it at the time and I wasn't able to work with them too well, but in retrospect I can see that it was helpful, and it kept me out of hospital, which for me was a positive thing.
With friends, sometimes people don't really know what to say or how to help; it doesn't mean they don't care though. Do you know what they could do that would help you? e.g. do you need them to listen, or would it help to just spend some time together doing something that you usually enjoy? Sometimes if you're able to let people know what they can do for you, it really helps.
How is uni going? Trying to finish your degree on top of everything else must be pretty difficult. Wishing you all the best with it!
I hope you're doing as okay as possible and managing to take care of yourself.
Thanks so much for your reply. I am really trying just it's been so many years now. There have been periods where things have been better but my mental health has effected me in ways that effect my relationships and then make me unhappy... It feels like an endless cycle.
I feel like I'm wasting their time. I have people to vent too- my old friends from where my parents live. But I think what I really need right now is just getting out the house and trying to do things I would have enjoyed.
Uni is okay. I decided I wanted to carry on and try and finish because I'm in my final year. When I relapsed I had only 4 exams left and I just want to get them done and feel like I'm moving on in my life. Luckily I just need to pass these exams to graduate with a decent grade because I've done well in the past few years. I can't focus as well on my revision as I could when my mental health was better, but I'd prefer to get a respectable grade and graduate and move on than postpone it for a year and get a really good grade.
I'm actually pretty nervous of finishing my exams in a week and a half. Since I relapsed I've had something to try and put all my energy and strength in. Not sure I'm going to know what to do with myself after that. And perhaps there will be less to distract me from the thoughts.