I feel like this might not be very helpful as I am low on words, but please know that you are a strong person for getting through work despite everything you're going through at the moment.
Don't have a solution, but I know how miserable it can make you feel when you think you don't have a right to vent to anyone..you are NOT pathetic and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Try to be patient with yourself, the numbness (if that's a word) will go away when your mind doesn't need it to cope anymore I think.
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