Hi hun,
Im sorry you're finding things so hard, it sounds life is quite difficult for you at the moment. Can I ask what it is that you dont like about anti-depressants? It sounds like you need something to help regulate your mood.
I know the prospect is terrifying but when you go to the doctor I really think you should tell them everything, nothing bad will happen, but they will be able to help.
You dont need to apologise at all, RYL is here to support people, its what we do best :) Not sleeping and having these mood swings must be exhausting, I really hope things can get sorted for you. Take care.
Aimee
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