Honey no means no and you had EVERY right to expect him to stop when you said the "safe" word.
You had an agreement to keep yourselves safe and he broke that knowingly. If you have said no and yet he forced things further then yes, he has violated your trust big style. In a court of law that would be seen as rape.
I know the feelings you're going through and it was hugely brave of you to talk about them. I know going over it isn't easy.
The feelings you have are incredibly justified and they may take a long time to heal. I would suggest that to do so though, you need to stay away from this guy.
If it is safe to do so, try and find out why he did that when he knew you wanted to stop. If it's your boyfriend, I'm assuming you're still around him, but only be near him or talk to him if you feel safe.
You come first here.
If you don't feel comfortable then go somewhere you can feel safe and loved like you deserve. No one deserves to go through that and I know the pain you're feeling but if you keep talking, keep getting out how you feel, the pain will lessen, slowly,but it will.
What I think is that you are an incredibly brave woman and your trust has been trampled on and you need some time away from him to work things out. No means no. Period.
Sending huge hugs to you hon and please, please PM me anytime you want to talk. I can give you my email address if it's easier.
You are NOT on your own with this, I'm with you all the way.
You have my word.
Lou xxx
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