An awful lot of self hate from you right now. Try and find a positive, no matter now small focus on that positive.i know that's easier said than done but when we focus on negatives they can over take everything and block out anything that may just be good or could be good.
You have worked so hard to get to this point. What a journey that must have been for you. Don't let yourself slide back to hold habits. Use your distractions and focus on a point that will keep you moving forward. Seek support from a doctor as early intervention can be a blessing. Life is never going to go as we plan but you need to remember "that's ok"it leaves the way open for other opportunities and amazing things to happen,just because today feels like it's the worst day ever and it will never get any better it doesn't mean that tomorrow won't be the best day of your life. Life can surprise us all.
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