Hey there, and welcome to RYL!
First of all, it doesnt mtter what has happened or what is happening to you, you DO have the right to be depressed. Depression is not only sadness because of what is going on in your life, but it IS a medical condition... chemical imbalances in your brain. Your brain is not producing as much of the "feel good" chemical as it should be.. which is why a lot of people do cut themselves... because the cutting does produce that chemical and makes you feel better... which also causes it to become addicting. And like any other addiction, you have to find better coping methods and distractions to make you feel better rather then the cutting. Anti-depressants might help.
(Sorry if that just sounded very booky!)
I know about your fear of going to the doctor, I was the same way. I was very scared of what they would ask or what they would think of me. It ended that I just told her that I was depressed, and she asked no questions... she prescribed me an AD and a few referalls to therapists. It also really helped that I wrote to her what was going on so i didnt have to say it out loud.. and I could give her the information I wanted to give her. Do you think you might be able to go to the doctors if your friend was there to make it easier for you?
Never feel like you arent worth of getting help, because you are.
Take Care of yourself, and PM me if you need anything =)
*hugs and cuddles*
x Kate
PS - Check out the distractions link I have in my signature below.. and within that link there are ideas to the left. Also in the distractions forum, there is the big distractions page... there are a ton of great ideas in there to get you through the urges!
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