Hi, it sounds like such a difficult place to be in. Psychological abuse can do so, so much damage, as you have experienced.
Could your sister get individual counselling/therapy, perhaps from somewhwere like Relate? It sounds like she needs to talk with an adult who's impartial so she can discuss the concerns we all have as children, between the abuse and not wanting to upset family members. If she had this space, she might be able to develop a more healthy sense of self and feel more empowered to make decisions in an environment that's supported.
She could also contact Childline (numbers don't show up on bills, I believe). You might be able to get some advice on her behalf and for you from Childline or the NSPCC.
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