Thank you Lavalamp . I just feel so ashamed I could squirm and like I deserve to suffer and be punished. There is something about abdominal pain that makes this feeling even worse whether it's because this area hurt when I was abused I don't know. I feel so desperately destructive and low I am sitting in Starbucks fighting hard not to cry or get tools to self harm. I started work processing nightmares on Monday and I think it is just hitting me now. Thank you all for your replies.
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