Originally Posted by
HopeRises
I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much and there aren't any beds but I also want you to remember that It won't cause your family less pain in the long run. Everyday your family will face life without you and it wouldn't get easier on them. So try and hold on to the fact that you don't want to hurt your family.
Would you be able to go to a local crisis house rather than a hospital?.
Oh, Ange*hugs* I am so sorry things are so tough for you right now. I am not very good with words atm, sorry. Basically everything Hope rises said.
When you lose someone it never gets easier. It makes a hole in your heart that can never be filled or patched up again, and you walk around with it for the rest of your life. I think it was very brave of you to reach out
I know that life is very hard and that it can often feel like you're stuck and there is no hope. But that's not the case,
I assure you. All hope is not lost, love.
You're saying you're not cut out for life, but don't want to do this to your family, which to me, sounds like a clear indication that there is a lot of love in your heart, which is in itself a wonderful thing.
You're definitely cut out for life; often, terrible things keep happening and it's very hard to cope with them, but there are good things in life to hold on to. Like love, and family, and friends and pets and laughter and kindness. Hope is born from these things, and while it may be very small, or seem frail(much like in the story of pandora's box), it is something to hold on to,
something that will get you through.
Recently, I had a discussion with someone about good/evil and God and life etc. And they said something that really got to me(considering that I used to feel-and still sometimes do- liek I was encompassed by some kind of impenetrable darkness):that light always always prevails. Imagine a dark room with no light source at all, if you turn on a light, even the teeniest one, it will still reach a long way, and once your eyes adjust, you will be able to see even more. Don't know if this makes any sense, but what I'm trying to say here is that light is stronger than darkness and that holding on to the tiniest bit of hope can really really get you through this, and it will eventually get easier.
Can you let someone close to you(your mom, or someone else) know that you're struggling a lot, and can't access support momentarily? Like dreamer says, they may be able to help you make a plan to stay safe xx