Hey there.
I'm 28 and things are a lot better now than when I was 24. Things aren't perfect, but I'm much more self-aware and I certainly feel my age, rather than feeling like a child trapped in an adults body. Things can and will get better, but I know that doesn't take away from the distress of what you're feeling right now.
Have you ever had any support for how you've felt/are feeling? This could be from the NHS or from private or charity organisations. As you're 24, you may be able to access some charities that are designed for young people if there are any in your area or close by.
I don't think that it's all your fault at all. I can completely get that people might think that because you're logical and because you're not acting on your suicidal feelings. That doesn't mean that you're feelings aren't valid though and it certainly doesn't mean that you are not entitled to a decent support network.
Keep waiting, but don't do it passively. Fight for yourself. Fight to feel better, because it can happen. I'm going to be 30 in 18 months and, though I will be a 30 year old with scars, the scars will be old and I'll be in a different place in life. Same can happen for you.
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