I'm sorry you're struggling so much. There are lots of people here who can understand that just because there are lots of reasons to be happy, it doesn't always actually cause you to be happy.
Why do you want to be able to manage without meds? Do you know what causes you to have these double standards about medication?
Your counsellor doesn't sound particularly supportive- she doesn't seem to understand that slipping up doesn't mean you're not trying!! Would you consider seeing a different counsellor?
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