I have a complicated relationship with my scars. On one hand I actually do like them, because I feel like they speak for me in a way I can't or am not allowed to. I'm watching them fade now and I'm not letting myself add more, but part of me misses them as they disappear. I feel like some part of me is disappearing with them.
The other side of the coin, though, is that they make me self-conscious around people I'm not already comfortable with (summer is hot where I live, so I don't try to cover them with long sleeves). And as I've started thinking about getting work, they've begun to seem like a frustrating obstacle. Particularly because I want to work with kids.
I keep telling myself they are evidence of an unhealthy mind, and each day they fade I take another step towards health. I still feel like part of me is disappearing with them, but I try to trust that the part I feel fading is the unhealthy part, and I'll be a happier person without it.
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