Luckily my caseload is fine at the moment. I think what's making it harder at work is the focus on food, and team dynamics (bitching and cliques). Plus the fact that I just generally struggle to get up and get into work, I just want to lay in bed all day. As soon as I get in from work I literally undress and get straight into bed.
I have considered going to occupational health but when I went for an assessment before I started my job they said they have a counselling service which provides support for work-related stress, so I don't know how relevant it'd be. And also I generally don't really need to talk about my problems, I need help to change myself and my situation.
My partner knows everything but obviously never having suffered from ill MH he can't understand exactly what I'm going through but I guess he does try.
When I was assessed I was very honest with the psychiatrist and even told him that every time I am at a train station and hear that a fast train is coming past and won't be stopping I have strong urges to jump. He's sent me a copy of his report and he noted this, however at the end put 'risk to self: low'. I really think because I'm 'high functioning' professionals think- nah she's fine!
In the follow up appointment I will of course be honest again but I just think no one takes any notice and I'll just be discharged back to my GP.
I feel like I'm just headed for a massive breakdown.
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