That's rubbish about your workplace. What an awful thing for your manager to say! I can understand why you wouldn't necessarily want to disclose anything. Could you maybe ask for a change in your workload or something else concrete that would help you cope at work better without you having to refer to your mental health?
It's good you're getting a follow up with your psychiatrist but it does sound like you need more support than they have offered you. I can relate to appearing high-functioning; when I was first referred to my local CMHT I was perceived similarly and I really had to describe just how at risk I was feeling in order to get more support. At your next appointment maybe you could tell the psych how you are thinking of ending your life and struggling in different areas of your life (despite outward appearance).
It sounds like maybe right now your priority is coping safely with low mood. Are you able to do any kind of self-care things, even if it's just making sure you relax and have time for yourself outside of work? You said you're in a relationship; how much does your partner know about what you're going through at the moment?
|