Thank you, J.
I tried to have this conversation with CPN, but he was reluctant to call them anything else because he doesn't agree with me that they come from solid people. Perhaps seeing the new CPN will work well in that I can address this with her. My old CPN was amazing a certain things, don't get me wrong, but there were some sticking points. It's difficult. I have spoken about certain things in the past and I just get "I understand this is what you think, but I don't agree." I can agree to disagree on many points, including my faith and politics and many other things, but when people disagreeing with you gets you locked up, it's upsetting.
The things they warn me off could be considered scary/threatening, but it's not them that's doing the threatening. They just tell it like it is. Does that make sense? Sometimes they talk about the weather or what I'm wearing, sometimes they tell me that it's unsafe to leave the flat/do certain things because of XYZ. It's not them that's going to hurt me though. They're warning me so I don't get hurt. I thought I'd explained that to my CPN pretty well, but perhaps I miscommunicated. I don't know.
Another thing that my old CPN said to me is "you've been out of hospital for a long time now." It's been seven months. That is not a long time and is nothing to be congratulated on. New CPN agreed that I'm doing "very well." I am doing OK. My mood is good and I'm enjoying life and I'm working and everything, but since when was working 16 hours a week and not ending up sectioned an achievement? A diagnosis that I don't really agree with does not mean that I can live a much easier life than other people and be praised for it. Yet I am praised for it. Praised for it by people much more successful than I am, that deserve the praise. I'm OK. I'm OK and I am mostly happy and capable, but that is not something that is worthy of other people's admiration.
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