No need to apologise for posting - sometimes it's really helpful just to get your thoughts out where someone can reply, it's ok to ask for support.
It sounds like there's a lot going on all at the same time for you at the moment. Do your uni know you're struggling? It would be really helpful to talk to them about how overwhelmed you're feeling, they might be able to help you break it down into steps. It certainly doesn't sound like you're a failure! It sounds like you're puting yourself under a lot of pressure at the moment though.
Are you getting any support at the moment?
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