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Too Shy · 14-04-2015, 05:48 PM

Thank you for the support, it is really helpful.

I think if there was less going on at the moment, fewer triggers, there is a chance I would feel differently. I know it was helpful at uni yesterday when my supervisors helped me break down the uni work into manageable steps and reassured me that I am doing well.

I just can't see past the anorexic thoughts. How despite doing well with fighting it and sticking to my meal plan, the thoughts are so, so intense. I suppose rationally it is not shameful to eat. I don't think for anyone else it is, and for other people I don't see weight as associated with self-worth at all. But all I can think is that it makes me greedy and self-indulgent. I am convinced that that is what other people must be thinking of me, that they must be laughing and thinking it's ridiculous to say I am struggling with an eating disorder.

My dad doesn't know about any of this. I haven't told him about what happened. The police officer wanted me to, but I just don't know where to start.

I would consider the crisis team if that is an option right now. I don't know if it is, but I could try to ask my team on Thursday. My care coordinator is going to come into the session with my ED worker so they can talk to me more. The doctor called and asked me to go in and see them tomorrow too. I think I'm going to ask for some PRN.

I'm just so exhausted and drained by life. I just don't want to function. I keep thinking of ways of hurting myself, methods of killing myself, but there doesn't seem to be a way of doing it without hurting people.

14-04-2015, 05:48 PM	#6
Too Shy Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: West Sussex I am currently:	Thank you for the support, it is really helpful. I think if there was less going on at the moment, fewer triggers, there is a chance I would feel differently. I know it was helpful at uni yesterday when my supervisors helped me break down the uni work into manageable steps and reassured me that I am doing well. I just can't see past the anorexic thoughts. How despite doing well with fighting it and sticking to my meal plan, the thoughts are so, so intense. I suppose rationally it is not shameful to eat. I don't think for anyone else it is, and for other people I don't see weight as associated with self-worth at all. But all I can think is that it makes me greedy and self-indulgent. I am convinced that that is what other people must be thinking of me, that they must be laughing and thinking it's ridiculous to say I am struggling with an eating disorder. My dad doesn't know about any of this. I haven't told him about what happened. The police officer wanted me to, but I just don't know where to start. I would consider the crisis team if that is an option right now. I don't know if it is, but I could try to ask my team on Thursday. My care coordinator is going to come into the session with my ED worker so they can talk to me more. The doctor called and asked me to go in and see them tomorrow too. I think I'm going to ask for some PRN. I'm just so exhausted and drained by life. I just don't want to function. I keep thinking of ways of hurting myself, methods of killing myself, but there doesn't seem to be a way of doing it without hurting people.