Hello!
I'm very sorry you're struggling so much.
I agree with crazykat, finding out what support is available in your area might be a good idea and they could hopefully tell you if there's any support groups or similar in the area as well. I hope you find something because it sounds like you have a lot of things going on and it would be really good for you to be able to talk about it.
Sending you many safe thoughts. I hope you feel better soon and if you ever fancy a chat then you're welcome to PM us.
Keep safe.
Nik.
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