[pixiedust]

Hi. I haven't posted in ages & I doubt anyone remembers me but please, I could really do with some support & advice right now.
I'm currently in a general hospital due to other issues other than my ED but since I've been here my potassium level's dropped a lot. I've had the treatments they've been giving me but they've noticed I'm not eating barely anything at the moment though to begin with they put it down to me having no appetite from being ill. They've said before I can go home I need to start eating more but this in turn had lead to me hiding & throwing away food & making them think I've had it. I know rationally this isn't the way to go as my bloods will continue to stay low & also I'm feeling physically not great but I can't get my head around eating more. I've been in a really bad place with food recently & the anxiety of the calories in the drips they've made me have is making it too hard to have anything. I don't know what to do. I can't end up back in the psych ward again which I know I'm at risk of at the moment but I don't know how to change things around. Not eating is the only thing I can control at the moment & I've put on so much weight from a bad period of binging & purging that I have to lose it all & this is the only way. I haven't seen my dietician for the last few weeks, partly as I was avoiding her & partly to generally not doing well/being in hospital. I will try to contact her on Monday if I get home but I'm really anxious about not getting home tomorrow as I really need to get home. I dont know what to do.