I can relate to a lot of what you've written. My diagnosis was BPD for a few years, then it was changed to bipolar. Now it's a bit up in the air again.
I guess you can have both, though the symptoms can be very similar/overlap.
If I look back over the year I can see a clear period of wellness, and also a long period of being unwell. But even within those periods I would have some mood swings on a daily basis sometimes.
I can especially relate to you saying when you are in distress you have some BPD like behaviours. That's the only time I exhibit those types of behaviours (impulsive, self harm, suicidal, desperate) but otherwise I don't have any BPD symptoms.
I guess if you feel the DBT is helpful then maybe ask that your diagnosis is left alone for the time being. Personally DBT was extremely helpful to me, and even though I no longer fit the full criteria for BPD, the skills I learned still continue to help me now with in dealing with general distress tolerance etc.
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