I can only go by my own experience but I was treated with medication prior to any diagnosis. Although I wasn't actually treated with lithium in the end it was brought up on a number of occasions as a suitable option for me.
For me one of the important things to agree to take a new medication or a dose change is to ask about the prescribing doctors rationale - how does he think it will help? What makes this medication a better fit than an alternative? What sort of time frame it will take to work? If it doesn't work what are the options? How much is this medication likely to impact in my day to day life? etc.
It was how I responded to the various medications that they tried that helped them give me a diagnosis that fits.
In terms of monitoring mood, there is a site called moodscope.com which asks to you rate how much you feel various feelings an emotions such as excited/anxious/hostile/proud etc and then gives you a mood score based on your answers. I quite like it to monitor my mood as it doesn't require me to be objectively aware of what mood state I am in and allows me to spot more subtle changes in my mood. It might be something for your partner too look into.
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