It's pretty clear you're having to try hard just to get through the day. I guess when it comes to your feelings they might think you're not trying because you're not doing some of the things that are suggested for various reasons (like challenging the thoughts). I don't mean that as a criticism, it's more just the way things are. You're doing other things like talking here about why you made the appointment and it's good to explore those things. Obviously that doesn't mean you're not trying overall - as I said it is clear you are. Maybe you can ask your doctor or Justin what "trying" looks like to them, what do they expect it to be?
About being "too lazy to put effort into things" that's clearly not true, everything is pretty effort full right now for you and you're still doing many things even though it's hard. I'm sorry that wasn't acknowledged xx
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