[yewotc5]

Stuck what to do for the best.

Was on anti depressants, but daftly stopped taking them out of embarassment. Went back to my doctor just before Christmas as was feeling awful, and he gave me a new prescription to start them again. Felt I was starting to see the positive effects, but since my dad said he can no longer support me with money and needs me to claim benefits its like it has all come back on again :( Going out and buying 4 or 5 scratchcards nearly every day in the hope of a big win so I don't have to worry any more is not normal. Just getting me further unhappy, and in further money problems

Spoke to an advisor at the job centre, and someone on the Universal Credit helpline who both think I'd be better off claiming ESA for a couple of momths. They said it will give my depression chance to stabilise, like I get bad days at the moment and they said you miss one appointment due to a bad day and.they stop your money. They said UC is lots more stricter than JSA ever was and you're expected to do lots more work search. With ESA i could claim for a couple of months to get myself right and then move to UC

Now just got to try and get a fit note of the doctor, soonest they can get me in is for a telephone consultation with the doctor I last saw on Tuesday. Dreading it, last time i saw him he gave me a 2 month supply of the anti-depressants so asume he will see it as having them means I don't need a fit note. Home wise doing a tiny bit better but still having days where I can feel happy and instantly gor no reason whatsoever, my mood will flip. Add the thought of.claiming UC into that and looking for full time work and its not great. ESA would also give me chance to do what i am at the moment, and look for part time work off my own back for a bit without job centre pressure

My head just feels messed up knowing what to do for the best

After speaking to Universal Credit helpline, finished in tears because they said ESA would be better for a couple of months and just very worried my doc won't give me a fit note

Have this telephone consultation with doctor booked for Tuesday, but part of me is saying cancel it as no way he'll give me a fit note, negative thoughts there.