It sounds like you're suffering from depression quite seriously. Obviously only a professional can diagnose, but everything you described fits the symptoms. To some extent this is warranted; feeling lonely, abandoned, family problems and like you have to be the strong one are all going to make you feel pretty rubbish. But depressive symptoms can also be successfully treated with therapy or medication. It sounds like you really want to get better, which in itself is a good sign. I would really urge you to see a professional, but also try and give yourself a break. Talk to your girlfriend about how you feel, plan some fun and enjoyable things to do each day and remember it is okay to let go.
Feel free to keep posting here too, of course. We're a friendly bunch
