[lord of luck]

hi guys... id really like some support if anyones up for it. as some of you know i got on meds last month for the first time ever and they went to double the original dosage today. the med has been giving me worse suicidal thoughts and im waiting to get in with a psychiatrist to find a better one, but ive had the urge to cut my wrist all day. i know i have to wait out getting used to the new dosage but as i write the stress is building. dont even know what im trying to ask for here... attempted suicide last week and feel like a failure for not being able to follow through. just feeling super down about the whole thing and its affecting everything else in my life as well.