I don't know if this anything similar to how you feel, but when I used to self-harm it was often related to punishing myself. If I made a mistake socially I would feel the overwhelming need to punish myself through self harm, and even two years into recovery I still have urges to cut in order to punish myself. One day I literally had the lightbulb moment that no matter how much I had annoyed or offended someone, they would not want me to hurt myself as punishment. Even someone who couldn't stand me still wouldn't want me to do that as penance and when I think about it like that, it makes the urges somewhat easier to deal with.
I have no idea if that will help at all, but wanted to share just in case!
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