I am so scared. Too scared to say anything. My friend says were not getting anywhere she tries to understand but she can't cos I can't tell her any of it. I've been trying to think, and I know its not against the law, thoughts are okay (?) if they're not acted on, comments and possible signs of acting on the thoughts at 5 years old can't get me locked up - I think - its all the people that I've affected that will come forward and the shame it will hurt so much and I'll have to kill myself as I can't face the truth.
I'm feeling so awful I've remembered something I did - unrelated - when I was a teenager and it IS wrong, I hurt someone, I can't remember the exact circumstances but I know it was wrong and I think I did at the time and I was being childish and maybe seeking attention (?) and that person could report me and this is making me feel worse because yes I am guilty, like all the other stuff, I can't argue with myself and talk my way out it this is the truth and it really hurts me.
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