Instead of putting your focus on how it will be to gain weight maybe it would help to think more about how it would be to continue "living" the way you do now and to feel the way you do now versus how things could be and how you would like them to be.
I know how terrified i was too, but its really not as bad as i thought it would be! Only in the beginning... Your mind changes as you gain more weight. You start to see that you really arent big. I gained weight and i can feel it in my clothes but truth to be told i dont really see that much of a difference when i look in the mirror.
The more you are undereating the bigger you feel. It just messes up your head so much. And i am not saying eating kills the ed but it does help you to see things more clearly. You really shouldnt be so afraid of it:) hard to believe i know.
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