[Steel Maiden]

I have had many negative experiences.

I have an abnormal gait due to mild ataxia. I was not long ago called a "f***ing spastic" by some youths. A few weeks before that I was laughed at by some other youths in the same recreation ground. Now I cannot go to that recreation ground alone when there could be youths there (school holidays, after school etc).

As mentioned above, I've had negative comments regarding my Freedom Pass.

At university, I've been a negative focus on attention when I'm having a meltdown and my support worker is trying to calm me down. It's bad enough having a meltdown, but having people stop and stare makes it worse.

My uni tutor does not "get" autism. He said "you need to stop relying on your support worker and be independent" to me last academic year. He also hates it when I get an allowance like a library extension.

My dad keeps testing my autism; I have no idea why. He doesn't live with me (he lives abroad) but when he does visit here he upsets me at times. He puts loads of aftershave on and walks around the house, leaving a trail behind himself and then tells me off when I get agitated with the smell and start opening all the windows. He also refuses to keep to a routine and changes his mind about what he's doing very often (for example he was driving me home whwen suddenly he turned round the corner and said "let's go to Homebase!" without giving me any prior warning). Then he yells at me for having a meltdown. My dad is close to me but he doesn't get my autism at all.

I live in daily fear of the neighbours trying to converse with me, of people physically contacting me, of unexpected noise etc... and then when I do get exposed with that and I start exhibiting challenging behaviour, I get punished for it by people that don't understand.

I wish the general public were better educated about disabilities. When I am screaming and thrashing about in public, I don't want to end up with the police, I just want people to understand that I'm set off by a stimulus of some sort and I just need to go somewhere quiet.

I am really thankful to my support workers because when I go out with them, I feel safer and protected. They say to me that they'll not let anyone mess me about. I call them my "bodyguards" lol.