Hugs Sarika. I am so glad I read your post because I can relate to so much of it (not the IP part but the die or don't die part). I thought I was the only one so conflicted about living or not and being scared of accidentally dying by my own hand.
I also wanted to say that it is definitely ok to ask for help and to do whatever it takes to stay safe. If IP helped last time then I think it would be a good idea to access that kind of help again even if it is only temporary. Perhaps while you are in there this time you could come up with a plan to help make things less overwhelming when you return home???? I don't really know but if it keeps you safe then I think it is a good idea.
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