Thank you Cacoethes I have actually just been looking up last minute deals as I feel a break may help!
I saw my Psych, I was very positive telling him how I thought the new meds were working well and I've been coping okay yadda yadda, then my friend brought up how I've been feeling and I got upset had to admit I am in a bad place. But he didn't really seem concerned.
It upsets me that if I ask for help, then no one can actually do anything to help, I feel like that's it, theres nothing left to try, no point anymore. The rest of today I've felt very low and hopeless and have been very upset thinking about how things will be when I'm not here anymore.
Funny really, today (Wed 10th) is World Suicide Prevention Day. I've been watching documentaries and looking online for anything that will convince me to keep going. Its so hard though. There is so much going on I am completely overwhelmed and keep having panic attacks just thinking about things. I know my life is over, its just coming to terms with it that's the hard part.
I can't even start to think about things it panics me too much, which is the main problem I can't talk so I'm a mess.
Anyway need to shut up I go on too much sorry.
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