Oh my god.
Those are both amazing.
I have a very strong interest in poetry (as is shown in my signature with Amir Safi's words below) and this has to be the most well written poetry I've read on RYL or on any online forums by an amateur poet at all.
I don't know what to say other than that you should perfect these and perform these live. If I heard these at a poets' night at a cafe, I would be amazed. I can imagine it perfectly, both these lend themselves to spoken presentation so well.
Please send me a message or something letting me know if you decide to take a chance and do it. Although I'm sure we live no where near each other I'd drive quite far to hear those poems performed.
Congratulations on creating beautiful art.
xoxoKae
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