Thanks both of you. I didn't in the end I just tried to talk. They are suggesting Quetiapine again but I'm very reluctant because this weight gain is what led to this latest spiral. I'm terrified I'm stuck like this I hate my fat body so much. It all feeds into my beliefs that I'm a fat freak and a monster.
I'm so angry with myself and my body . I trusted my treatment team and my weight went up and now I can never lose weight again. The abuse makes me feel so violated and I want to scream that this is my body and nobody else has a right to dictate what size I should be. I just don't even feel like a person. I just feel so overtaken with fear and shame and thoughts and images.
Sorry I don't know I just want to run and hide and lose this fat. Sorry I'm rambling.
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