To me, the fact that you've been managing everything so well for so long by yourself shows that yiu aren't dependant on them. Everyone needs a bit of help sometimes when it gets too much and there's nothing wrong with that at all.
I completely understand the fear of being dependant on them though.
You could always ask them for reassurance about it. I was worried that I was dependant on services so I just asked someone from the crisis team what they thought and that helped with my concerns.
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