Originally Posted by
Ballerina123
If you were willing to engage you would make an appointment that's more suitable for you.
I didn't know until the last minute that my friend wasn't coming with me. I have said this upthread.
When I phoned to say I couldn't make it, I explained I was in a bad way and suggested we could have the appointment over the phone, although not the same as face to face as I was 'in the middle of it' I could articulate what's going on inside better than when I had put the 'going outside' face on. She refused this suggestion.
Also when they offer appointments you tend to get a letter just a day or two before (but dated earlier) and if you call to rearrange it they get cross. I get frightened and this 'eager to please' thing takes over, this is also why I can easily be bullied into saying I can do things I cannot - I could tell them in advance I need a home visit but if they point blank refuse or hint I'm not trying hard enough then I get scared and agree to whatever they want. What else can I do?
It's also very hard in a better patch to remember quite how bad things are in a bad patch... and they jump on board with this thinking and when the crash comes it's so much worse because you were encouraged to believe you wouldn't feel that bad again. I tried to break the "I'm fiiiine and will never feel bad again!"/"Argh must die" cycle when I was younger, but it seems that the way they act encourages it... and other dodgy thought/feeling patterns.
It's very upsetting to hear all this "not willing to engage" stuff because as I said it's been
four years... I have 'engaged' and they kept discharging me. I asked for help when I could manage better to jump through their hoops. I have been honest and feel like I've bared my soul only to have it trampled over by them.