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Old 26-06-2014, 11:05 PM   #6
Isoverity
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
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What you write of is not unusual. When you confront things you are probably upset, angry etc. That is what makes things go bad because you don't know how to come from your center yet.

Most of the time we tend to "fight or flee" when we feel stressed by something or someone. But both reactions are horns on the same goat. We will feel guilty about both. If we hide we feel guilty. If we get upset and go off we feel guilty. Even doing the right things will "feel" wrong if we do things the wrong way.

Think of kids when parents divorce. The kids will often feel guilty - as if they caused the divorce. Of course they didn't cause it but it "feels" that way because they got upset/angry and that creates a guilt - which they then misinterpret.

If some random anon ran up to you in the street and started yelling at you saying you caused some problem for them you could feel guilty if you get upset even though you don't know the person.

The more a person fights or flees the more dehumanized they feel. Animals can live that way but people get a lot of conflict. The trick is to learn that your upsets aren't as normal as you think (that's true of all of us). We think its normal to get uspet but its actually very destructive. You can be strong and fight people - even hit them in the nose - as long as you're not doing it in an out of control, angry way.

When you feel stressed you can learn to watch it and let it pass. Just like a slapped hand will stop stinging - an upset will pass. You know not to keep slapping your hand but if you keep thinking about problems and getting upset - and then upset about the thoughts - and round and round - then its like you are keeping the upset going and going.

Watch the upsets and see they are wrong. Feel the stress on your solar plexus but don't run or fight out of overreaction. If its wise to confront someone or some issue then do it. If its not wise then don't do it. But act from what you realise wise in your center. You have strength there you don't know about. Your overreactions pull you from your center and lock you yo the environment outside where sick stresses and people try to make you react like an animal. That can't happen unless you play along.

When people want to throw you a hot potato don't catch it by overreacting. If you watch then without reacting they get burned instead of you. You don't have to "win" or beat a problem. You learn simply how not to lose (by getting upset) and by not losing you win anyway and you'll get better and better without struggling. Its all so easy its hard

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