Hey,
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much. It's so draining being so anxious all the time. Do you think you could write down some of your feelings about the anxiety or the treatment so that the staff can know what's going on for you?
It's a horrible feeling to feel like you hate yourself so much, but you are not a 'fat monster' - your perception is distorted at the moment, and you are not going to be judged or discharged for being fat, it's just your thoughts telling you that. Keep talking as much as you need to here, there are always people here to listen.
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