[olliemoose]

This is really frightening for me to admit and I'm honestly not sure if I should be putting this here, but I really need consolation.

Lately I've been extremely depressed and apathetic, to the point that when one of my friends tells me a serious matter, I just stare at them with blank eyes and not feel anything. I have absolutely no empathy for anyone anymore and it's gotten to the point that I have to fake reactions to things people tell me.

This also ties into the thoughts of hurting others that I've had for the past 2 years. Lately they've been getting worse, so bad that I've actually mapped out what I'd do if I were to hurt a random person that I come across. I've only told one other person about these thoughts and urges, and she didn't believe that I was serious.

I do believe that I could put another person's life at risk and not feel any remorse or empathy towards them. I want to say I don't think I would, but given the chance I'd do it. If anybody has any idea what's going on inside my head, please shed some light on this for me!