Going to see the person you said you would is GOOD!!! Seriously, even in the worst, depressive moments, that's when you have to do the things that you really don't want to do like meet people, get out of the house etc etc. This is what will see you through and out the other end. Trust me! You are doing super well Uglyducklin (I wish you'd change your name - that could be the start of the new you?!). Don't forget to reward yourself (like verbally or just feel happy with yourself) when you've completed mini tasks like these, they are difficult in the down times, but if you do them, you are beating this thing. SERIOUSLY!!!
You really are doing all the right things. Hang on in there, think about the future, tell yourself you're beautiful even if you don't think it. Evidence proves that even saying these things (regardless of whether you think it or not) actually makes a difference. Listen to youtube self-esteem meditations as you fall asleep to counteract the negative messages, fill your head with loving, positive messages. Do you have an ipad or iphone? Download bbc app and read the news, see what's going on around you, become part of the world again, not just your own world (I'm not saying this in a negative way, but it helps you to step out of the moment).
Keep going, you're doing so well!!!
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