Can you identify what it is that holds you back from bringing it up? Like, is it that the words themselves are kind of scary and difficult to say, or something do with worrying about what people will say?
If the former, could you try to come up with a kind of euphemism, like "I've been feeling pretty hopeless about life", or something like that, that doesn't mention the word suicidal?
Do you ever have text or email contact with any of your professionals? If so, maybe it would be easier to bring it up via one of those media?
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