I saw my therapist again. I did last weeks exercise incorrectly I need to write it again. I don't know why people are cruel and abusive? It's wrong of course it's a million types of wrong but I'm just fat and worthless I must have done something wrong. I can't process it all , I'm not ready to think of the future it feels like three sessions in she's talking like I should already be mended feel ready for a relationship and all that goes with it but I'm not. I feel I'm drowning gasping for air want to scream but the words are gone I want to cry but there are no tears. I'm a FAT pathetic piece of **** I mustn't rely on the eating disorders appointment even though according to the NICE guidelines it's a requirement and not to mention their own rule that to do this I must engage with eating disorders. It had been useful to do the work then see my eating disorders nurse but instead I must use other strategies. I feel bruised and battered. I'm sorry I don't deserve to post x
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