This sounds familiar. I did this to myself and ended up as involuntary inpatient and wished I had never been born. Now I had to get mitigation to do my exams in the Autumn. You are far from stupid but people like us with MH problems are not like other people and there are even those out there who don't want to get a first or give a damn enough to even try. It is nearly impossible to get a first in everything and I have tried and if I get anything less than 60% I want to die but realistically what can I expect being a freak like me. I know exactly how you feel but I think you could be bright but just won't admit it to yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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